And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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