soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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