careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
