I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i will never coherently bang her
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
