morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
