i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
