Three words: puerto rican gang bang
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i now understand why vodka
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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