When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
