i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
