So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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