Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
