What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize