I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just pee around me
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize