i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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