well you can't waste a boner
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
