why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
