You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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