Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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