Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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