I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
