Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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