hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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