then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The power of my boobs compel you
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
