I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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