Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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