I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
