At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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