They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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