She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize