if only i could text you this smell
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
