There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
