how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I hope mine doesn't look like that
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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