i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
