Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
