does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
