btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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