ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize