is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
