I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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