oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize