She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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