dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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