I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she told me i tasted like america
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
