those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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