I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
smell my finger.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
