I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
