I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Hippo gnu deer
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize