a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
