she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
