The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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