wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
