Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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