Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize