No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
