I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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