You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
