no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
