is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i think im in europe. pls send help
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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