I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
