You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
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