He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
