Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
