Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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