i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
