and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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