3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
