i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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