My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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