You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
