I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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