am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
