ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
