I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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