Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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