She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
