PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Randomize
