so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm both gender and math confused
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
